Still here…!

I didn’t realise how long it’d been since I’d done anything hippy related, until my mum pointed it out yesterday. So here I am waffling on again!

The last couple of months have been hectic with finishing off my course and I’ve only a week and a half to go – YIPPEE!  All being well I’ll be a qualified teacher and everything :0)

Whilst having the hectic life that revolves around school other things have taken a bit of a backseat. The biggest of these being exercise, which is definitely not a positive step.  I have managed to keep up Pilates, which is fantastic and I’d recommend it to anyone and everyone, especially if you find a great teacher who knows what alternatives to give to slightly broken people such as myself.  Anyway I’ve two sessions lined up the week before my op and as soon as I can get back to it I’m getting a couple of one to ones to get me back into doing the classes.

This weekend saw me having the first of two hypnotherapy sessions aimed at keeping me chilled about having an epidural. I’m not that bothered about needles, apart from, it seems, the one going into my spine. The last thing I want to be doing is fidgeting and twitching with nerves while the anesthetist is doing this. Anyway the first session was very positive, and anything that helps is a goer in my book!

Had a bit of a scare this week – bearing in mind the cancellation of my last op, I managed to get yet another cold! At first I thought it was hay fever, but it didn’t respond to the usual drugs and just felt like a cold.   Fortunately unlike the last 3 week lurker it seems to have dissipated, fingers crossed I’ll not be in snotsville for too much longer!

On the subject of runny noses I have a tendency for mild hay fever, but today managed to fall asleep in amongst lots of flowering clover – not the brightest choice on a warm, sunny, breezy day! DOH!   Another stupid thing that I do fairly frequently is to take out my contact lenses and then go looking for my glasses. Needless to say it takes me a lot of time stumbling about blindly to sort this particular issue out.  I really need to stop this, especially when hobbling about on crutches …. I sense tears of frustration would be the outcome and they certainly wouldn’t help me see any clearer!

I had my second Pre-op this week, it’s so long since the first one the hospital need to check I still have the same blood!  All went smoothly, the only mild trauma was getting weighed, I’m still in the ‘healthy’ category for my height, but right at the top of the scale – RUBBISH!  So much for living on rice cakes if that’s what they do for you BRING ON THE BISCUITS!  I’ve heard from a couple of people that the post op painkillers suppress your appetite as well as your pain, so I might yet be a bikini model, albeit one with one normal and one twiggy leg!

I’ve 2 weeks to go, and don’t feel half as panicked as before.  Perhaps now is just a better time mentally if not physically. Still it’s a bugger that we’ll have no summer holiday, but I intend to have as many outings as my hip can contend with. The other thing I’m looking forward to is having time to do exercise (mostly after the non-weight bearing time), it’s been ages since I had a really good heart pumping muscle aching work out – only a couple of months and I’ll have to make time if I want to get back on my feet, and I can’t wait.

Oh something else I’ve decided to aim for when both hips have been done is learn to play tennis. Not a surprise considering Wimbledon is on at the minute, but it’s something I fancy doing every summer, so next year the boy and I are hoping to get a couple of lessons then go play in the park with friends.  The last time I played tennis was at school, and I had plenty of power, but absolutely no control whatsoever!  I spent an inordinate amount of time retrieving the ball from over the fence and halfway across the hockey pitch which is where I’d managed to launch it during serving!  Hmm maybe tennis isn’t my game.

Right waffle over, better get back to planning lessons, Fractions anyone?!

Something to aim for.

Today saw one of the first sprint triathlons of the season being held, in our village of all places. So the boy and I headed up to the competitors area to take a sneaky peek at what we hope to be doing next year.  In a former life I did a bit of swimming so the 400m in the pool doesn’t phase me too much, though the speed of this years competitors does!  The boy, on the other hand, who is sporty and lithe, sinks like a stone and is somewhat peturbed about pool, but fairly confident with the biking and running.  My main concern (apart from collapsing from exhaustion half way through the bike ride, only to have my behind whooped by the other competitors as they streak like lightening past me) is my hips.  Now I’m thinking on the positive side of things and with the first hip sorted in July, recovered well enough to get the second sorted 6 months later in January, that gives me a little over 3 months from the second op to be well enough to compete … hmm a little optomistic maybe?!

On the hip front, rightie is playing up as usual with a few extra bonus twinges, and leftie does not appreciate the hopping action with crutches, it even had the audacity to start giving grief whilst walking last week. Ur..NO! I say. That is not in the grand plan, and is not allowed, fortunately leftie has quit the grumbling for now – at least until I try and climb the stairs  on crutches again!

Lean on me

I’ve decided to make the most of the extra time I now have before my op, so I’ve hired me some crutches!  I’ve 8 weeks to practice all thanks to the British Red Cross (0845 0547171) - they will hire out crutches and wheelchairs for a donation.  I hasten to add that I made sure I wasn’t borrowing crutches that someone really needed.. I had images of some poor soul trying to hop everywhere unaided!

Anyway I’ve now mastered the stairs up and down at least once, though it was slow and slightly wobbly going, but I’ve 8 weeks to refine my technique. I’ll have shoulders of steal before I know it!

What’ll happen to the summer?

 The university have been nothing short of brilliant and cancelled my suspension of studies, so I can go back to lectures. Also if the date offered by the Hospital fits in, I will finish my course and be a qualified teacher – WHOOO HOOOOO it was going to be December before that happened.

Yesterday I got a new date for the op, the first one offered was 15th June, which is only 3 weeks before the end of my course, so I requested to postpone it again. This means I will at least get my course finished, even if I’m not well enough to get a job in September, there’s a chance of supply teaching once I’m recovered. 

The new date is now the 13th July which is depressing.   I’ll be spending my summer not able to do stuff – friends BBQs, a holiday surfing/biking/walking, DIY in the house (strange but my boyfriend and I work well together and our house needs some attention to say the least), sorting out the garden…. and worst of all some of our good friends are getting married. What are the chances of me being able to go to weddings; one 2 weeks after the op, the other 3 weeks after? maybe a wheelchair will be the answer (UURRRRRGHHHHH).  HURUMPH! just about sums it up at the moment.   Admittedly there are a few things I can now go to over the next few months which I wouldn’t have been able to do, and I suppose I can enjoy any sunshine we do get in the summer by recovering outside… but it just ain’t cricket.  I feel the need for a list; a list of the things we can do to enjoy our summer…. any ideas anyone?

News flash; Op cancelled due to runny nose!

So here I am again, I should now be in hospital re-cooperating from some hefty surgery with new shiny metalwork holding me together. Unfortunately this is not the case. I have a cold, and this coupled with my (very mild) asthma means I have a 10-20% chance of getting pneumonia post surgery. Both the anesthetist and surgeon decided that it’s not worth the risk and I am to have surgery later this year – probably around June time.

I’m pleased that the experts are looking after me and are not willing to risk my health any more than necessary. However I am not looking forward to facing reality again.  Over the last few months, I’ve become used to the idea of surgery, and talking about it and living with the idea has become second nature. What I haven’t really done is let it hit home too often. Yesterday I had a bit of a reality check – this isn’t something I can just talk about, it’s something that really will happen, twice.  It’s real and it’s happening to me. Now I realise there’s plenty of other people in the same situation, there’s others that have come out the other side and are happy and pain free, and there’s plenty of people with far more serious problems in their lives. My head hasn’t quite accepted any of this though.  The anesthetist I saw yesterday was straight down the line and very matter of fact about everything. This is where I had to do everything possible to not cry like a baby and run the hell outta there never looking back.  For those of you who would rather not know skip the next paragraph. It’s probably not so traumatic for those of you who have faced the reality better than me, but this is what I was told yesterday that made me want to run for the hills;

I will (as expected) need to have an epidural which will be left in for 3 days, this is to manage the pain after surgery which I was reminded is pretty horrid. The anesthetist said that sedation is possible before the epidural but he doesn’t usually do this as it increases the risk of nerve damage, (only a 1 in 10,000 chance without sedation).  He was telling me this whilst having the epidural needle on the desk in front of him.  Next he said that all the needles for drugs and IV etc will be on the left hand side of my body as the right hip is being done. I’ll have a needle inserted into my hand for the general anesthetic (administered after the epidural), then while I’m under they’ll attach the catheter and a few more bits and bobs including a needle in my neck! I have no idea what this one is for, but I really didn’t need to hear that… so far I have a big arse needle in my spine, one in my hand, one in my neck, I’m weeing into a bag, and there’ll be a drain somewhere too.  I’ve previously been told the surgery should be around 3 hours, apparently the one they did last week lasted 8 hours. HOLY CRAP! mind you I guess I’ll be asleep so the length of time shouldn’t be a problem.   Anyway when I wake up the needle in my neck will still be there for a while AARRRGGHHH!

So that lot freaked me out a bit, only a couple of things I didn’t expect, but these were enough to send me to the edge! That and the hunger of course – I hadn’t eaten since 8 the previous evening – I’m not a happy bunny when I’m hungry at the best of times! 

On a lighter note, you have to do a pregnancy test before surgery, so I had done my duty, peed in a pot and handed it to the nurse. Well after I’d seen the anesthetist and surgeon and they’d cancelled the op one of the nurses called me over; “it’s about your pregnancy test, it’s not shown up as urine”….. Urm right then. Which beggars the question “what the hell has it shown up as then – cos it sure as hell came outta me in the way that urine should!”  I will never understand the mystery of the urine, having cancelled my op I guess they just chucked away the mystery sample!  I aim to confuse them next time too – lots of jasmine tea the night before may have been the problem, I’ll try it again and see what happens!

Hello all

This a quickie as I still need to prep for tomorrow… YIKES!

I just wanted to apologise for not replying to emails properly yet – I should have a bit of time on my hands in the coming weeks, so you’ll all have a barrage of my drivel then!

As for tomorrow, I’m not too scared just yet – the terrors seem to have abeited this week, but I know I’ll be shaky and feeling sick with nerves tomorrow morning.  We’ve still a ton of things to do to sort the house out, and my lovely folks are coming round today to help shift furniture which is a massive help, other than that the house is like a bomb site and I’ve still not packed even one slipper!  Oh the good news is that PJ’s and Trakky bottoms have been given the green light from probably about Wednesday onwards – WHOO HOOO!!  The not such good news is that my belly button piercing has to come out, and according to the nice lady in the piercing place it’s likely to close up in less than a day cos it’s a small hole. Bugger – it’s been there for 10 years, and despite the fact that I don’t have the right stomach to be able to show it off, I’m really quite attached to it. Mind you if that’s all I have to worry about in the name of being bionic, I think I’ll cope!

Right that’s it now til I’m through the other side, I don’t think there’s freebie internet in hospital so it’ll probably be next weekend at least before I can report back on all the fun of the week.

Laters peeps xx see you when I’m part mended ;o)

It’s a glamorous life style

A crack team of action OT’s commando rolled their way in to the house this afternoon, and in a flash of  light set up all the sexy toys I’m gonna need for the forthcoming weeks of hobbling.  To be fair lumpy and grey would just about cover it.  No, not the OT’s, the stuff they left behind.   The sofa is now 4 inches higher, propped up on some grey plastic lumps, as is the bed, the loo seats are big, and yes you guessed it…. lumpy. The boy really has gotta get his aim spot on as the hole left for ablutions after all the lumpy ’make the seat higher’ business is smaller than normal. Could be interesting after a night out on the beer!   Oh yeah and then there’s the two perching stools, they are grey and not so pretty, but I guess everything is for a practical purpose and lets face it after the op and eating too many biscuits while full of drugs I’ll be a bit lumpy and grey too!

There you have it, all set up for post hospital hobbles, no terrors to report for the last few days, though there is a lot of tiredness and grumpiness.

Terrors

Countdown is progressing, and I’m having fleeting moments of sheer panic. Which is nice.

The first this week happened when the hospital called and said the Op date might need to be moved forward a week.  Right then. My folks have taken time off work to help me through, as has my teacher boyfriend (for those of you who don’t know it’s INCREDIBLY hard to have any time of during the school term, so re-arranging could be an issue), and I’m at Uni and have been able to restructure my course to accommodate my op happening on the 30th. The new date is not looking good from where I’m hobbling. Anyway somehow things seem to be back to the original date again, but not before I’d shed tears in front of my mentor at school and begun to re-arrange my life. 

The next moment happened when I called our local OT service and asked about the home visit I’d been promised pre-op. They only had my details this week and the receptionist told me on more than one occasion that there was an 8-9 week backlog of home visits. Hmmm, with a week and a bit to go I didn’t greet this news with pleasure.   This situation has also now rectified itself… which led to the third and most intense feeling of terror.

The OT is booked in to come round this week, and during the conversation with her the word ‘commode’ was mentioned (but only in passing however it was enough to start the fear). Apparently I also need a perching stool to be able to make my own cuppa. Now I may have been naive, but I figured I’d be able to do this standing on one leg and using one crutch, but obviously not!  Well after this conversation some of the horrid realities of day to day life with a semi bionic hip hit home.  There were tears and a few little swears one of which was in response to my poor boyfriend who I rang for moral support. He’d already asked if I was ok, to which I responded yes on more than one occasion, then the third time he asked I responded, through tears. “no I’m f*****g terrified”.  Seriously, he couldn’t have seen that coming, but the boy done good and made me feel a bit more sane, as did my friend who was unfortunate enough to be in the room at the time. Poor girl.

So I wonder what lies in store this week. After a pretty dull weekend of moving furniture around so my hobbling isn’t obstructed, and a day of planning lessons I’m already tired, which doesn’t bode well for a terror free week.

Ho hum only 8 days to go…. in a week and a day I’ll be so drugged up there won’t be an ounce of stress or terror, that only comes when the drugs wear off.

night shirt hope…….

try this site http://www.laredoute.co.uk/clothing/Night-shirts.aspx?CategoryId=17512716&&Path=17512716/17513465/17513469&&ChmCatId=17513469&ECC=R000000035&ac1=IA910&gclid=CP38hY-fmZkCFREgZwod5V1eag

Choices, choices……

What choices are these I hear you ask?, well on Saturday I ventured townwards for my last mop chop before the big op, then braved shopping for hospital stay attire. 

Currently when in ’slob’ mode I don tracky bottoms, a big warm hoodie (yes, that nineplus one for those who know me, and no it isn’t surgically attached!), and some toastie socks.  Apparently for the joys of post op hobbles round the hospital I need a dressing gown, slippers, and a night shirt.  A dressing gown I can cope with, slippers are bearable, but a night shirt?!  Plus it would seem that when it comes to night shirts the choices are slim; I can either go for a 10 year old child look with a Disney character adorning my nightie,  try out a bit of granny chic and have a long sleeved floor length floral number, or have a slinky sexy lacy nightie that’ll leave nowt to the imagination.   So what did I do?   bought nothing, yep not a thing.  I can’t do slinky cos it’d put people of their already suspect hospital food, granny chic just isn’t my bag, and as for Disney characters – when I was 10 maybe, but not now.   So at the mo I’ll be flashing my wears through the back of a hospital gown, it’s time to call in my mum for moral support.